As a mom, there’s nothing sweeter than seeing your kids showing each other some love. Those moments when they are hugging each other and smothering each other in sweet smooches is priceless. However, on more than one occasion that loving moment can quickly turn into a full-blown scene the likes of which WrestleMania can only aspire to achieve. The eerie thing is how quickly it can take a downward spiral into the depths of screaming and torturing. I have witnessed my two children perform this incredible feat several times and each time sit in awe (after I have intervened and sent them to their separate corners) at how two human beings can so quickly fluctuate from love to what I know in my heart is not hate but paints quite the picture of all things hate. There is nothing worse than being in public when the love fest begins because I then find myself holding my breath waiting for the tables to turn, especially when some complete stranger takes an interest in the two little angels love for one another. I can’t even enjoy the compliments being expressed to me, the perfect mother of these cute cherubs (truly you would have to be perfect or deranged to be able to raise children who never fight), because I am holding my breath waiting for my kids to reveal their true selves and in turn my true self since they are a reflection of me after all. I find myself repeating that moment’s mantra “just breathe, just breathe, just breathe” and hearing Pearl Jam in my head.
How many times in our lives do we hold our breath waiting for the worst? How many moments do we miss out on because we’re too busy worrying about the other shoe dropping? How many genuine messages of love and admiration have we skipped over because surely there must be something more to it right? Surely, there must be some ulterior motive behind someone’s compliment or kind action? They must want something right? There’s no way they’re just being nice. It will surely morph into WrestleMania at some point, so why enjoy the moment? Why bask in the glory when something terrible must be right around the corner? We’ve seen the pattern, been there done that, we know how it ends.
BUT
What if something really great is around that bend? What if something nice is actually followed by something nice or maybe even nicer? What if this time is different? How will we ever know? And how can we enjoy the moment if we’re so worried about what’s to come? I say, show ’em your best smile and remember to just breathe.
What song or mantra gets you through those moments when you need to remember to just breathe?
Not to mom-bash but my mom was a worrier – she had her reasons, I found out later in life, but she expected me to be the same way with my kids and while I worry on the inside, I refuse to show it. I want my daughters to run at challenges at full speed, etc. I tell myself each day, “just breathe” and then the controlling the things I can, etc.
It isn’t easy but I see my daughters, the youngest in particular, fearlessly going after her dreams and working so hard to be a better student, a better person and excel at everything she tries.
My hope is that I am a better mom than mine and that they will be even better at being a mom as I was … if that is even possible! LOL
The mantra “I am” helps me to breathe and understand that life is a journey of endless possibilities that I am always experiencing right now.
I love that! You are so right. Life is definitely a journey and the possibilities are endless! We just need to dive into those possibilities and believe. Thanks for stopping by!
First of all, can you translate the tattoo for us? Secondly, LOVE Pearl Jam, LOVE that song, and totally get this post. Strangers often tell me I have lovely children or a beautiful family, and I can’t help but sometimes think, “If you only knew.”
“Just breathe…this too shall pass” is the translation. Thank you for stopping by. I totally get the “if you only knew” thought. 😉 I guess our quirks or dysfunctional tendencies are what make our families unique. lol
So true! I’ve been reading the book “The Trance of Scarcity” (subtitled, “How to stop holding your breath and start living your life”)– very much like you are talking about. I still catch myself many times a day actually holding my breath, but at least I’m aware enough to realize I’m doing it! (Big improvement for me, after many years of that waiting/worrying pattern.) Thanks for your perspective on this!
Sounds like a great book. I may need to check it out! Realizing what we are doing and what we need to work on is a HUGE step! Thanks for sharing.
I remember those days so well with my own kids. My taste in music has changed so much over the past few years. I never was into heavy metal but like the softer sounds, but today if I am upset and need to breathe, I listen to the Piano Guys
Finding that melody that soothes our soul is a real treasure, as are our children’s antics even when they try our patience! 😉
Oh to be aware of what we miss by focusing on the future unknown. Great post. (Love all kinds of music that does this for me!)
If we could only walk through life with that perspective front and center we would experience to the fullest!
Amen LittleMissW!
I think I’m the opposite regarding the music selection. Instead of looking for a song that offers peace, I usually “hear” something raging like Eminem and that gives me the energy to do what I have to do: intervene, raise my voice or not, keep my cool or flip out because that’s what the situation calls for, etc. It may mean I’m weird or that I have bad taste in music. I haven’t decided yet 😉
I love this. I use “Just breathe” in a lot of my poetry and conversations that I create for my characters when I am writing. I love the way you painted the picture of love and the flip side of that same love when as children we are provoked to anger. I remember my friend calling me up during the summers when she was raising her two sons who were almost 3 years apart in age… wanting to pull her hair out! Now they are such good friends, with families of their own. I also remember when my son told me “Mom, do you really think I am going to invite HER over for dinner someday when I have my own house?” Talking about his little sister. Smile… NOW they are also good friends. Funny the process that life takes… we do have to keep turning corners and remembering to breathe… even today as adults with each other we can feel that kick you in the gut kind of innocent love and sometimes in the next moment, feel that ‘put you in the corner’ kind of hateful frustration…. with those we love. As long as we remember to breathe! Thanks for a great first of the morning inspiration! As always! Great post!
Di
I know my children will grow up to be like yours and your friend’s children and have a lasting and wonderful relationship. As they get older these moments I described here are fewer and far between. And, since we are currently living somewhere that they mostly only have each other I can see their bond deepening and maturing. I love that!