She broke the silence. “I can’t do it. I can’t sign those papers.” The young woman shifted uncomfortably in her seat, never taking her eyes off her husband who sat across the mahogany conference room table, his own pen in hand. As silence hovered like a cloud of uncertainty over them, the gentleman in the three piece suit occupying the end of the table rose and leaning both hands on the shiny wood surface said, “What do you mean you can’t sign? This is what you want. You were so sure of it.”
Tip #1: Do not let someone else tell you what you feel. You know what you feel. You alone can fully understand your feelings. Uncertainty can be a gut feeling. Don’t dismiss it.
Eyes locked on her husband’s steady gaze, the young woman took a deep breath, the kind that starts in your stomach and fills your lungs and whispered, “It doesn’t feel right.”
She couldn’t explain why it didn’t feel right. She knew it must seem crazy to others, but she couldn’t shake the discomfort that had taken root in her. She knew. She just knew it wasn’t right.
Tip #2: When a nagging feeling is persistent enough to linger, don’t ignore the feeling. Don’t try to explain it away or justify it. Examine it. Let yourself really feel it.
She tried to silently convey all of this to her husband whom had been by her side for so many years. They had been together since they were just a couple of young college kids, but they weren’t young and naive anymore. They had each grown individually and matured into the person they each were today. Their marriage wasn’t a young marriage anymore either, having recently celebrated their fifteenth wedding anniversary. In those fifteen years, the man across the table had become all too familiar with her “gut feelings” and as they locked eyes now she hoped he not only recognized what she was feeling, but somehow agreed with her. She silently pleaded with him as the gentleman between them cleared his throat and realizing what was happening, leaned closer into her and said, “You’re making a mistake. You may come to regret this if you walk away. Don’t be rash. Impulsive decisions don’t tend to pay off in the long run.” On and on he went, but she tuned him out and focused solely on her husband.
Tip#3: Tune out everything around you, take a deep breath, and allow yourself to focus on what caused you to feel uncomfortable about the situation. Find the triggers. They exist.
It was then she saw the recognition in her husband’s eyes, the clear focus as a fog was lifted. He slowly lowered his pen and gently set it down. He pushed the papers slightly away, never taking his eyes off her and as she released the breath she didn’t realize she was holding, he simply said, “You’re sure?” With tears in her eyes, she nodded.
Tip #4: Act on your gut feeling. Even if you can’t pinpoint the trigger in that moment, something caused you to not feel right about the situation. Do not dismiss it, but remove yourself for a few moments, a few hours, a few days until you can comfortably make a decision.
That young couple did the right thing no matter what outside forces were pushing them to do otherwise. I know this because I was/am that young woman. It wasn’t a divorce attorney in that room with us. It was a realtor. My husband’s position had been eliminated a few months prior and the company had offered him another position that would require us to move. We weren’t strangers to relocation, but this particular one didn’t feel right. We had gone house hunting and not a single house had felt like it could be a home for our family. Amidst the whirlwind of house hunting, school visits and discussions with moving companies, we had finally settled on a house. Notice I say settled.
Tip #5: If you feel like you’re settling, it may not be the right choice. If you’re going through motions that don’t seem genuine to who you are, chances are your gut is telling you something.
We kept plugging along, justifying and convincing ourselves that this was the right move…until it came time to make it official . Much to that realtor’s disappointment, I couldn’t sign those papers. I’m lucky to have a husband who is so in tune with me and my gut feelings. Two days later, my husband received a call out of the blue inviting him to interview for a position that was the right one, the right move for his career and our family.
We’ve all been there…that moment when an uncomfortable feeling begins to take over each cell of our body one by one. It swirls through our head, around our neck, travels down our spine and around our body until even our toes tingle with it. It finally comes to settle in our gut…hence the reference to “gut feeling” and too often we ignore it. All too often, we find a way to justify it or explain it away.
Next time you find yourself in a situation that just doesn’t feel quite right remember to go with your gut. Do not take another step in a direction you’re not completely comfortable with if you’re not sure what’s behind that door.
Do you remember the last time you felt that gut feeling?
How did you respond to it? Did you remain silent or did you speak up?
Whenever I don’t go with my gut, I end up in a mess. It’s usually when I’m too busy taking advice from other people. I like the visuals mixed in with the points.
Thanks Lisa. I can completely relate. If I can just listen to my self and not get caught up in what everyone else is saying I know I’ll get the answer I need. I’m glad you’re in touch with you inner voice!
I believe in instincts. Sometimes I feel like I depend on them too much, but it’s never too much right? Just feels like how can it be so simple when everyone is out there struggling.
So true. Thanks for writing it all out. I love that feminine intuition. I also love that picture of the door and the vines–my gosh! That looks like Heaven!!
There were times in my life when I tried to silence my gut feel. They all ended up with regrets. Never again!
Glad you’ve learned not to silence it! It will serve you well in the future.
I totally agree that one’s inner voice is often the best compass a person can follow. When you turn off the noise and let it through, it’s amazingly accurate. And one shouldn’t worry about trusting it when it’s trying to tell us something’s off…after all, no one rushes to shut if off when it’s telling us things are right, correct?
I wish I could teach my children to find their compass. It will come in handy as they face all those pesky situations as they grow. When I talk to them about it, I call it their “inner voice” as well and hope that they follow it even when that inner voice may sound just like their nagging mom. LOL! And, you’re absolutely right about us being quicker to tune in when the message is that things are right!
That tiny voice…ahhhh it’s gotten me out of any number of scrapes. And somehow it keeps telling me that a situation I’m IN, one I frequently regret and wish I hadn’t done, is alright, and okay, and still the right thing. So it works both ways.
Glad yours was on the money.
It definitely works both ways. The information is at hand…we just need to tune in to it and dismiss all distractions in order to make the right decision. And…even when we don’t, the lesson that comes of it is one to tune into as well.
I always tell people to follow their gut feelings…we too had a similar situation with a house. My husband wanted it, we had bid on it and it was accepted, but it didn’t feel right to me. I wasn’t sure about the community and the house was right off a busy street…we told them we didn’t want the house and sure enough, we found the “right” house a few months later in a different community and on a quiet street. 🙂
Funny, I was just commenting on your post while you were here doing the same. There have been so many situations when I have trusted my gut and have been glad to have done so. Sometimes people have thought I was nuts, which makes it harder to follow your intuition but I am so glad I did! We are about to embark on another relocation and house hunting expedition and I always know when I’ve found the right house. It just feels like home and I can see my family in it. Glad I’m not the only one making decisions based on my gut feelings. Good for you and your husband too!
ah I can so relate to this… I once rented out a whole dance centre for classes I was teaching, and had a bad feeling about it from the word go. But it ‘looked’ pretty and everyone I asked advice for (that should have been the first warning sign – normally I make decisions really quickly!) liked it. It turned out to be full of problems and I was lucky to get out just a few months later. SO GLAD you trusted your instinct and you have a husband who does too!
Those warning signs are always there. We just need to embrace them instead of dismiss them. Hard to do when it’s something you really want, like your dance studio, but I’m sure it would have saved you some heartache. Glad it all worked out in the end for you! What kind of dance classes did you teach?
I call that a God thing! Some people just don’t learn to listen! Sooo glad you did and your husband got the job and you kept your HOME!!!!
Absolutely! We are all wired with it…just need to tap into it. We’re soon off to another relocation and I’ll be putting my gut and my faith to good use. 🙂
Great lesson!
One I’ve definitely learned! 🙂
WEIRD! I was just looking over this new charter school that people are RAVING about in our area. I searched the site, their mission, yada yada and I texted my husband to tell him I wasn’t impressed. I literally texted, “I get a bad feeling about it”. My gut is twisting just thinking about this school. TWO MINUTES later I see your post about trusting your intuition!! See? I love this stuff. The Universe just spoke to me. 🙂
Wow! Definitely trust your gut feeling. Gather more information about the school, visit, talk to parents, teachers, students…but if it still doesn’t feel right for your children then stand by your decision. Don’t ignore your intuition, especially when coupled with a mom’s intuition. 😉
You illustrate this lesson so well, Leah. Thank you.
Thanks Mark. I am definitely a “go with your gut” type. I’ve seen it work in my favor too many times to dismiss it.
Yes. We should trust our instincts!
Always Michelle! Always!