Raising Bad Parents

A soccer field covered with teenage athletes, a game in progress, a referee’s call. A normal event until an angry teenager disagrees with the ref’s yellow card call, and punches him on the side of the head. A palpable hush, stunned spectators, a horrific event. The referee becomes dizzy, needs help sitting down and begins to vomit blood. The teenager is whisked away and hidden by his father. AnΒ ambulance is called, the ref’s brain is swollen by the time he arrives at the hospital. A father, husband, brother, and role model is dead.

Another soccer field, first and second graders scrambling to keep up with the ball, a little girl gets injured…a bloody lip. Tears stream down her sweet face. The coach searches the sidelines for her parents. They are nowhere to be found. Her greatest injury, her parents never stay for her games.

A little league baseball field, young boys suited up and keeping their eyes on the ball. Their ears bombarded with the jeers, insults, and pressure filled yells from overly competitive spectators on the sidelines. The spectators are their parents.

we reap what we sow

photo credit: littlemisswordy

The teenager becomes a father. When his wife and children don’t do as he commands, he beats them bloody.

The little girl becomes a mom. She places more importance on herself than her children, never making time for them, never showing up to their games.

The young boys on that baseball field become those spectators, yelling, jeering, insulting, pressuring their own sons because they believe in winning at all costs.

Every child may not be affected the same way by these poor examples of parenting. Some may walk away unscathed. Why take that gamble? Why choose to bring another human being into the world, then not put our best foot forward in molding them? We don’t build a house without giving it the proper foundation. We don’t let our children drive a car without driving lessons. We don’t grow a tree, by simply planting a seed, then never watering it and leaving it in darkness. We reap what we sow.

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36 thoughts on “Raising Bad Parents

  1. New International Version (Β©2011)Luke 17:1
    Jesus said to his disciples: “Things that cause people to stumble are bound to come, but woe to anyone through whom they come.”

  2. Thanks for stoping by my blog and for introducing me to yours! πŸ™‚ I am enjoying your posts and I share your views in so many areas!
    Congrats on your book too! πŸ™‚ Nothing quite like holding a real live book that has your name and picture on it! πŸ™‚ I’ll definitely be heading over to Amazon to purchase a copy! If you are looking for some summer reading you might check out my first book that was just published, “Running Through the Raindrops … Finding Joy in the Chaos of Raising Kids” πŸ™‚
    Keep up the the great writing!
    Lori

  3. Pingback: dOn’T gEt UpSeT wHeN yOuR FiVe-yEaR oLd aCtS LiKe A fiVe-YeAr oLd! « littlemisswordy

  4. That referee story is awful, but I can believe it.
    You are quite right in what you say but it worries me that I know I am far from a perfect parent. Like the Philip Larkin poem, I may not make the mistakes my parents made with me, but I’m sure I will make some cracking ones of my own.

    • The referee story is what got me all worked up. There are no perfect parents. We all make mistakes, but as long as we are giving our kids 100% in trying to raise them to be morally responsible adults then we are doing okay. I love that poem too!

  5. I was just explaining to my daughter how important it is that I honor my mother in simple things like making sure she is comfortable, opening her door, small things to show love and respect to our elders. If not, just imagine how she’ll treat me once I am the grandmother of her children. It all starts with small gestures of respect and kindness. It is our responsibilty as parents, it isn’t an option.

    • That’s exactly what I’m referring to here. Each action no matter how insignificant it may seem at the time is making an impression on our children and molding them into the adults they will later become. “It is our responsibility as parents, it isn’t an option” sums it up beautifully.

  6. This was profound! My book stems from the core of your point here… Bad parents. My first boyfriend’s parents never should have had children. He was the kid with the story no one would believe. He hurt me in ways still affecting me all these years later, but I finally have come to understand why.
    We need to understand and be more aware of where the damage began.
    Thank you for your post!
    Thank you for writing this.

    • I remember reading that in the chapters of your book, back when you posted it. This is exactly my point. As parents, we have to understand how impressionable our children are even from a very young age. Our actions shape them, stay with them for years, and eventually affect those around them too. I’m sorry you had to go through that, and am glad you are finally finding some peace with it.

  7. Your story has some truth but without the bad we would not know whats good either…
    And seeing bad parenting and choose to be Not like them is certainly dream come true Dont you think?

    • I understand your point. I definitely see a child choosing the opposite path of the bad parenting they were subjected to as a very good thing. However, I don’t believe that child had to witness/experience the bad parenting in order to choose the right path as a parent themselves one day.

    • It is extremely sad, but these examples are in abundance on so many levels. Being a parent isn’t always easy. Quite frankly, it can be downright exhausting most of the time. However, if the choice is made to bring a child into the world then the responsibility is for a lifetime not just when that parent feels like parenting. I better stop before this becomes a whole other post. πŸ˜‰

      • You could probably make another post! It’s all very true. You always make very valid points. I know parenting can’t be easy, it’s a huge responsibility…but some people just don’t seem like they’re even trying. So sad.

  8. Excellent commentary on poor parenting. I pray for healing and grace for the family of the deceased referee. The world is a scary place. Some days, I wish I could live in a bubble but that’s not a reality. Guess we just have to keep doing our part and raise our kids to be the most stand up citizens possible!

    • Thank you. It is so sad to even have to address it, but these examples are all around us. I agree. We stay the course and keep setting a good example for our children.

  9. horrified reading about that soccer ref. I hope the punishment is appropriate.

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

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