Gym Observations: Workout Barbie vs. Sweaty Barbie

*Sweaty Barbie was camera shy*

Workout Barbie: She enters the gym as though we’re all expecting her a la “the party don’t start ’til I walk in.”

Sweaty Barbie: She enters the gym already sweating from the effort of getting the kids to school, dogs walked, etc.

Workout Barbie: She has arrived, decked out in her Lululemon (well maybe not anymore) workout pants though the term workout may be a stretch and I don’t mean the downward dog.

Sweaty Barbie: She has arrived in whatever clean super hero t-shirt she found that morning, paired with Target shorts of some variety. Getting dressed was a workout in itself for Sweaty Barbie.

Workout Barbie: Eye contact is minimal or at least it would appear that way…hard to tell since she crosses the length of the gym, eyes hidden behind her Tom Ford sunglasses.

Sweaty Barbie: Eye contact is minimal in order to avoid anyone mistaking eye contact for an invitation to chat. Sweaty Barbie just wants to get in and get out.

Workout Barbie: She heads straight for the locker room, Hermes bag slung over her shoulder.

Sweaty Barbie: She heads straight for the locker room to throw her purse and keys in a locker and slap her two dollar pad lock on the door.

Workout Barbie: Upon entering the fitness class room, she surveys the lay of the land daring anyone to invade her regular spot, not quite front and center…more like front and a bit to the right of the instructor.

Sweaty Barbie: Upon entering the fitness class room, she surveys the lay of the land, making a bee line for the spot furthest in the back where she can hopefully blend into the back wall.

Workout Barbie: As she settles into “her spot” she’s overheard expressing her disgust over the three or four drops of sweat on the wood floor left over from the previous class.

41BYzNmuwvL._AA300_Sweaty Barbie: As she overhears Workout Barbie’s disgust she thinks, “Head back here bitch, you’ll need an umbrella by the time I’m done.”

Workout Barbie: She summons a gym employee to mop up her area, shaking her fully made up face the entire time the mopping takes place.

Sweaty Barbie: Face completely devoid of makeup and in need of a good waxing, she shakes her head in disbelief at some people’s lack of common courtesy, actually making eye contact with the gym employee and sharing a smile.

Workout Barbie: While the rest of the members exchange “good mornings” she is in her own world, finding it difficult to turn away from her reflection in the mirror.

Sweaty Barbie: While the rest of the members exchange “good mornings” she is adjusting and readjusting her new sports bra, hoping it will hold up during class.

Workout Barbie: She NEVER sweats throughout the entire one hour class nor does she ever take a single sip from her glass Voss water bottle.

Sweaty Barbie: She sweats throughout the ENTIRE one hour class and downs her Dasani water bottle refilled at home for the third day in a row.

Workout Barbie: At the end of class, dry towel in hand, makeup still fresh, ponytail still intact, she heads straight to the instructor to let her know what a great class she taught.

Sweaty Barbie: At the end of class, dripping wet towel in hand, sweat pouring down her face, hair all askew, she heads the hell out before anyone notices the sweat puddle she left behind or the instructor gets a good look at her. She can pretend she’s new to the class again tomorrow.

Have you ever witnessed Workout Barbie or Workout Ken at your gym? How about Sweaty Barbie or Sweaty Ken?

Do you dare tell me which one you are?

26 thoughts on “Gym Observations: Workout Barbie vs. Sweaty Barbie

  1. Littlemiss, I would have never noticed either of them, My headset would have been blasting something, and my eyes would have been shut as I held on to the treadmill for dear life. But I will make and effort to pay attention the next time I go to the gym. Thank you for a wonderful post, One I truly enjoyed. Also thank you for visiting my blog and liking one of my recent posts. Please take care, have a great day. Bill

  2. Oh my gosh, I am totally sweating barbie. I actually saw a girl show up to the gym in a string bikini last month– like, she drove there that way and walked all the way in with a bag of clothing on her arm. It was about 50 degrees outside and she was swishing her way through like she’d descended down from Olympus to bless us with her abs. I grunted a little extra on the stairmaster that day.

    1. Ha ha! I’m definitely sweaty barbie too. I can’t believe she walked in wearing a string bikini! I guess she was proud of her hard work. At least it was obvious that she sweats at some point to achieve those abs! Even if I had the body, I know I couldn’t walk into the gym in a string bikini! LOL

  3. I work out alone in my trainer’s not-so-creepy basement cause both types of Barbie (and Ken) (and everyone in between) annoy me. Paying you a too-infrequent visit thanks to the HDHU. Needing to remember to come visit more often. xoxo Jane

  4. Oh gosh, we have a ton of Workout Barbies at my gym, especially in the classes.

    I’m not even sure Sweaty Barbie is the right term for me, because when I’m going to work out, I fully anticipate looking like a literal hot mess when I’m done.

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